Zarking fardwarks.

My copy of Rob Grant’s Fat has been delayed. Got the email in my inbox not an hour ago. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to drown my sorrows in a jynnan tonnyx. I mean…almighty foonting Zarquon, of all the…Belgium!

An Open Letter to Chris Barrie

**ahemhemhemhem**

RD II–”Thanks for the Memory”, or Arnold Rimmer, Sentimental Fool

Yes indeedy — I’m reviewing another Rimmer-centered episode. Why? Because I can.

[gloat]I might be getting Brittas! Yeah![/gloat]

Yeah, you read that title right. It’s altogether possible that I might get to view me some Brittas Empire in the (admittedly indefinite) future. This might almost make up for being subjected to On The Up.

Almost.

What Happened to the Cat?

I know it’s been a while since my last article. Sorry about that. My excuse this time is that I’ve been — erm, not downloading and listening to the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy radio show. It’s quite entertaining stuff, this, and it’s taught me a lot:

(1) Mark Wing-Davey is, hands down and bar none, the perfect Zaphod Beeblebrox. Sam Rockwell’s movie version had been disappointing enough before I heard this; he hardly even exists to me now.

(b) “Journey of the Sorceror”, as a piece of music, is really really cool. I wish I could find it somewhere that wasn’t on the soundtrack to that damn movie version…(Hint, hint.)

Yeeeaahhhh, yoooowwww…

that’s mine **spritzspritz** , this is mine **spritz** , all this **spritzspritzspritz** is mine.

Hey, this has been a pretty good day. I’ve eaten five times, I’ve slept six times, and I’ve made a lot of things mine. Tomorrow, I’m gonna see if I can’t have sex with something!

RD IV–”DNA”, or Kryten’s Adventures Among the Humans

Yessirreebob, just when you thought I’d never get around to doing anything that didn’t involve a transparent excuse to think lewd thoughts about Chris Barrie, I struck again, this time to offer my thoughts about an episode featuring Robert Llewellyn unmasked and talking about his penis. (Which is a real bucket of cold water over those Chris Barrie-related thoughts, lemme tell you.)

Anyway. On to the reviewerizing, shall we?

Bonehead

Yes, I know the place has been a bit quiet lately. There are several reasons for this, foremost among them being that I’m lazy and forgetful. Also, I was having a bit of trouble getting the WordPress thing-a-ma-doohickeys to magic me up categories properly.

Lookit my new shiny thing!

…Well, it is kinda shiny, but it’s only shiny on the cover so you can’t see it in this photo. I’m talking about the books I ordered a coupla days ago, two of which arrived today–Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers and Better Than Life. (With any luck Backwards should be arriving soon.)

RD V–”Holoship”, or Hologrammatic Love, as Real as Any Other

…or “Arlene Lets Her Chris Barrie Fangirlism Run Wild” ^_^’ .