Dwarf on the Intarweb – Tony Hawks

I actually came up with this idea a long time ago, before the Holoship even got off the ground. Well, to be honest, not so much “came up with” as “saw a several-years-old article at Groovetown about Dwarfy websites and figured ‘Hey, someone needs to do that again!’”. So I dug through my RD folder in my bookmarks and took notes on the better known — and not so well known — web presences of some important Dwarfy people and places. (Note: The sites I’m talking about can be found in the “Linkys!” sidebar to the right of the screen.)

Let’s start with a site I really liked. Tony Hawks’ site has a lot going for it. There is an unnecessary front page on it, but the link to get past that is clearly visible, so if you’re not keen on those you can move straight on to the home page. And a nice home page it is! While you do have to use something Flash-y to get around the site, it’s really very well-done Flash — it loads in no more than a second or two, even for my extremely old computer on a 56k connection.(Yes, 56k. We can’t get anything better where I live. It’s not offered. My family keeps checking.) In fact, certain other Dwarfy websites that shall yet remain nameless could stand to learn a few things from the execution of this Flash interface. I only wish there weren’t a video right there, that starts up immediately — my computer and connection don’t handle video very well at all. But I understand that most people don’t have that problem, so I won’t hold it against the site.

Another plus for the site: lots and lots of information. There are plenty of slebs out there who buy a web domain, slap up a few sparse page of information and maybe a few pictures, and call it a website. Hell, some of the Red Dwarf cast could be considered guilty of this — but more on that in later articles in this series. Not so here. Maybe it’s just because Tony Hawks has done quite a lot of things in his career — acting, singing, writing, not skateboarding — but here, for instance, there’s at least one page for each of his books (in some cases, two or three pages). Does, say, Stephen Fry do that? I assure you, he does not. (Not that Stephen Fry’s site isn’t nice — it’s just too busy telling everyone how shy and modest Stephen Fry is to actually talk about Stephen Fry for any satisfying length of time, which rather goes against the whole idea of having a website, surely?) There’s also plenty of multimedia thingys and wotsits for those of you who, for any reason, aren’t reading fans.

Of course, if you aren’t keen on reading, you’re missing out on one of the best things about the Tony Hawks site: the Skate Mail section. This is Tony dealing, in his own wickedly witty way (my alliteration; get your own), with the countless emailers who didn’t do their research before hitting “send”, or who have somehow failed to grasp the differences between this multitalented Brit and a certain famous skateboarder in the United States. It’s a bit hit-and-miss, since he gets a lot of these mails and they do tend to blend together in the mind after a while, but it nonetheless frequently made me snort and guffaw aloud with refreshing frequency — and I bet you would too, if you went and saw it. It was so funny I joined Tony Hawks’ Fun Club as soon as I finished reading. And the next time I have cash I’ll see what I can do about getting one of his books too.

Arlene’s verdict: Why are you still here reading this instead of visiting the site? Go! It’s a great way to kill a few hours. You’ll thank me later.

Next time on “Dwarf on the Intarweb”, I’ll complain a bit about Norman Lovett’s site. Ha, someone else complaining about Norman Lovett. Turnabout’s fair play in this case, right?