Dwarf on the Intarweb – Chris Barrie update

Okay, Chris, so you finally updated your website. Now that your site’s joined everyone else here in 2007/2008, I take back some of the lousy things I said about you not updating in a dog’s age.

Now just keep it up. Oh, and one thing — thanks very much for the lovely new Gallery pics, but dump the stupid Flash interface. Please. I stand firm on it being thoroughly useless and irritating. Maybe if you get rid of it you can upload more than twelve pictures! ‘Cos I think that’d be just great.

SuperHappy FunTime Update!: Whoever finally updated and corrected this (boldface and italics mine):

COPYRIGHT 2008 CHRIS BARRIE ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
All other copyrights and trademarks are property of their prospective owners

Thank you.

Dwarf on the Intarweb – Howard Goodall

Ha HA! I’ll bet you all — okay, you both — thought I was dead or something, didn’t you?

Well, I wasn’t. I did, however, discover classic Doctor Who, and, well, Tom Baker, and his hair, and his lovely voice…well, I got sort of…distracted, see. I mean, Tom Baker. Come on. You can’t fault me. It’s Tom Baker.

RD I–”Waiting for God”, or David Ex Machina

First off, today is my birthday. Let joy be unconfined, and let there be feasting and worldwide celebration, and ice cream cake. I’m already doing that right now, with some classic Doctor Who: Jon Pertwee’s “The Time Monster”, featuring Robert Delgado’s excellent turn as the Master (it’s so hard to find someone who can play an unmitigated bastard so well). Have I mentioned that Jon Pertwee’s Doctor is marvelous? That whole era of Who is chockablock with energetic, somewhat campy fun, and none of it would work without someone like Pertwee in the lead. All in all, I’m much impressed by the classic Who I’ve taken in so far. And I haven’t even seen anything by Tom Baker yet.

RD II–”Queeg”, or Mutiny on the Red Dwarf

Yes, I know it’s been a while, and that my readers — perhaps even both of them — may even have begun to lose hope that I would ever update again.

Hah. Fat chance of that. I like the sound of my own writer’s voice entirely too much to give upon this weblog that easily.

“But if you like it so much,” I imagine my tiny readership saying to themselves, “why did you put off writing another article for so long?” This I answer in several ways:

(a) Look, I’m lazy. I’ve never made any secret of being horribly lazy. Mine is the Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes approach to deadlines: I work best only under pressure. Besides which, my computer is old and slow, so working in the WordPress article-writing window makes things even slower, and I can’t even save time by typing it up on my own time and copy-pasting my finished text.

(2) My library got the first of a set of Cowboy Bebop DVDs. I mean, c’mon, it was Cowboy fuckin’ Bebop, one of the better animes of the last decade or so. Do you seriously expect me to use precious Cowboy Bebop-watching time for typing up articles and interacting with people? Why the hell would I do that?

(hat!) I’ve also discovered that one of the PBS stations I can pick up is airing episodes of the latest run of Doctor Who (not classic Who, but previous series of the new Who). You may imagine now that I have just squealed like a schoolgirl, because that’s what I did when I first found this out.

Now, on to the reviewy goodness.

Dwarf on the Intarweb – Chris Barrie

Yes indeed, boys and girls, in today’s “Dwarf on the Intarweb” I take time to tell Chris Barrie (or whoever else is going to read my loose-brained philippics) what I think is wrong with his website, on his birthday. His special day. On which he is supposed to feel nice and have good things happen to him, along with cake and ice cream and greeting cards.

In other news, I am a horrible person.

But that’s not going to actually stop me.

Dwarf on the Intarweb – Norman Lovett

In this week’s installment of “Dwarf on the Intarweb” I nitpick at and bitch about Norman Lovett’s online presence. Really, that sounds more fun than it actually is.

Dwarf on the Intarweb – Tony Hawks

I actually came up with this idea a long time ago, before the Holoship even got off the ground. Well, to be honest, not so much “came up with” as “saw a several-years-old article at Groovetown about Dwarfy websites and figured ‘Hey, someone needs to do that again!’”. So I dug through my RD folder in my bookmarks and took notes on the better known — and not so well known — web presences of some important Dwarfy people and places.

RD V–”Quarantine”, or We All Keep Playin’ Those Mind Games

I present to you, gentle reader, a slightly late St. Valentine’s Day gift from me: A review of an episode all about insanity and power struggles. What better way, indeed, to say “I love you”?

RD IV–”Camille”, or Awwww, Mechanoid Lurve

So…um. Crap, starting these things is always the hardest part. Sometimes even my genius can’t help me write a sufficiently awesome and perfect opening paragraph. Gimme a minute.

RD VI–”Emohawk – Polymorph II”, or Hey, Look, My First Negative Review

Welp, folks, I have a very good reason for not having any reviews up until now. However, until I think of it, will you accept that the Devil made me do it?